Cheap Bots, Toot Sweet! -- Bot source

Tracery JSON

{
	"origin": ["#completely different#"],
	"completely different" : ["Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession.", "What did one DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”", "My IQ test results came back. They were negative.", "Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.", "Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.", "What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.", "What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.", "Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It’s called wedding cake.", "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.", "I never knew what happiness was until I got married—and then it was too late.", "Some men say they don’t wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?", "Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first.", "Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn.", "What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.", "How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Eclipse it.", "Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents.", "Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet.", "What’s a dog’s favorite homework assignment? A lab report.", "Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach…”", "She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet she’ll mark the exact spot.", "You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it.", "What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.", "What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.", "What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!", "What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? A large fortune.", "One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker.", "Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nobel. Nobel who? Nobel, so I knock knocked.", "The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it.", "You’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age.", "How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.", "Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.", "Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.", "How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.", "If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?", "What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? A dirty double-crosser.", "Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.", "At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Elementary.", "Money talks. Mine always says goodbye.", "Why do bees hum? They don’t remember the lyrics!", "Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.", "Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.", "My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof.", "What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.", "Atheism is a non-prophet organization.", "I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.", "I really hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.", "That bizarre moment when you pick up your car from the garage and you realize that the breaks are still not working, but they made your horn louder.", "What’s the smartest insect? A spelling bee!", "Why are snails slow? Because they’re carrying a house on their back.", "What do you call an ant who fights crime? A vigilANTe!", "What do kids play when their mom is using the phone? Bored games.", "What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.", "What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.", "How does the ocean say hi? It waves!", "What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.", "Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.", "Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand? A palm tree!", "Why didn't the skeleton fart? He didn't have the guts!", "Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano!", "What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!"]
}